Song Of The Moment -Like A Boss - Lonely Island

The title says it all! Even if the procrastination means well, it can still be a bitch. I think this quote sums it up the best.... no maybe not, if girls read that they'd think i was very very bad. But for the men i will put it in a super secret hiding spot where no girls can read it. (Pssst guys over here, we all know girls have tiny brains compared to men. It's proven, Borat said so in his movie. So i put the quote at the bottom in super duper small writing ;-D... P.S. I'm not sexist this is all simply a joke, don't hate me.)... Ohh look a four eyed unicorn eating a leprechaun lets gaze at that and forget i ever said anything.. Anywhom, the reason i are disliking procrastination at this moment is because my sister-in-law made some awesome Spaghetti this morning. Hah i bet you didn't see that coming. Well yeah and it was awesome, delish, bon ape-tit it was the shit. And i had two small bowls, and by small bowls i mean they were like a cup. Yes a See You Pee, a CUP! Since im trying to be health conscious and all, Yup i'll have 10 abs, large biceps, chisseled chests, a back with muscles so big it looks like im stuffing a bakery back there and a super duper awesome strong muscular pinky. So because i had the small cups and trying to be healthy i thought, Hey i'll eat some later and not stuff my face in. Best. Decision. Ever....Or so i thought. To pass time quickly so i can have the super duper awesome spaghetti i thought i'd have a nap, I diiid only have about 5 hours sleep (i'll explain why later). My nap was pretty awesome, I hogged the couch in the living room to myself, legs spread wide, arms out like i was doing a sleeping jumping star, my pillows to my side and my mouth wide open.. cause thats how everyone sleeps. I slept for about 4 hours thinking it was enough, i woke up with a wierd pain at the top of my head. And the smell of bottled water was in the air... it could only mean one thing... Bob was here. But i didn't want to worry about that, because i knew.. OHH i KNEW.. it was time for spaghetti. My four hour wait was over, Felt like a few minutes.. i mean GOSH who knew a nap could feel so good, so i strutted over to the kitchen. I'm pretty sure a orchestra was there because i felt triumphant, like i'd just taken over Tasmania, i was a king and i was walking towards my prize. The walk from the living room is probably in reality only 2 metres, like 5 seconds, but this walk.. Oh this walk.. this Triumphant, proud, walk i was doing felt like forever. All these visions started playing in my head, The spaghetti and eye hand in hand swirling in a corn field, both riding unicorns by the shore in a secluded nude beach, riding a ferris wheel together even though im piss scared of heights, carving our names into a tree F + Meatballs 4 Ever and us watching our half spaghetti-half human children playing on the tree swing by the pond. It was beautiful to think about. So i lay my hand on the pantry door, took a deep breath and opened wide... And to my horror.. no my digust... no my opposite of jizz in my pants-ness I.. found.. NOTHING! I dreaded what was to come next as i turned around to see... I'm shaking as i write this, its unbearable ... wait a moment im going to break down in tears.. its just too heart breaking... give me a moment.. *gives moment for $9.95 at target, luckily on discount*.. *deep breath*... I saw two bowls.. one filled with the remnants of the spaghetti sauce and the other.. just a bowl.. It was over!! It was finished.. it was gone.. arrividerci.. bon voyage.. toodles.. see ya later mate.. the Spaghetti was gone! Finished.... The world was silent.. for a moment the Thumb Wars stopped because everyone felt the magnitude of the situation..... But there was hope. I turned to see my brother walking with a bowl, i walked over and coolly asked "What you got there big boy?" and to my dismay.. he turned around.. takes one last slurp and says.. "Spaghetti". My eyes switched between his ugly face and the beautiful plate. It was over. It was finished and i was never.. EVER gonna get my taste of awesome Spaghetti... And that is when i learnt my lesson. Procrastination.. is a beeeyotch. Never wait, when you have something thats important to you, special to you, dont let it go.. take it as soon as possible, grab it by the meatballs and Suck away... Farewell Spaghetti... *blows nose*

Quick change the subject.. change it.. change it.. change it *fans eyes* oh my god oh my god i neeed a tissue i cant do this again..

AHH, this morning! I myself went to the dentist to get a teeth checkup. And it just so turns out i have some pretty smexy teeth, The doctor himself said that his exact words were "Hey big handsome sexy guy, your teeth are smexy" True Story. Those dentist check ups are really funky. Im sitting in this chair, Which has an awesome recline function, a huge bright light in my face, a man in a mask talking to me and drill like tools. Open wide he says, its funny cause i thought my fly was undone, but he proceed to drill away at my teeth. I see all this debris flying around and though Dude thats my teeth your chipping away my teeth. It felt hella wierd but they say its for the greater good.. Greater good my ass. Felt so wierd, dentists hurt, my teeth still feel funny. But what creeped me the most was that in the next few years i may have to take out my wisdom teeth.. Ewww surgery and laughing gas and metal objects in my mouth. I mean really thats gonna suck. Oh well, sucks to be Future-Fuzz doesnt it. Oh and this dentist appointment was why i only had 5 hours sleep. Note to self, try get over the late night sleeping habit... Another Note to self.. its 1AM, this is not a good sign for someone who wants to get over a late night sleeping habit.

Then i guess thats my cue. But before i leave i just want to say, Wow i went a day without a blogpost.. this doesn't count i'm a few minutes after 12 midnight... damn that Cinderella story BTW good movie, hilary duff was hot aaaand yeah. But what i really wanted to say is theres a hilarious new show on Thursdays at 9:30 Channel 7 called "True Beauty", it's hosted by the SEXY Vanessa Minnillo and it tests the personalities of these people, they're like airheads and just straight up asses. BUT DUDE! I can not believe the level of Vain-Ness these people are at. I mean they kick my vanity's ass, spit on it, shove it down a drain, use it as a pinata, shave its head, wait til it grows, then shave it again, nipple cripple and then say "your mother". Their Vanity is THAT Bad Ass! Here are a few quotes "I know im Beautiful, Im scientifically Beautiful", A guy said that. "God.. just look at me, im beautiful"
Vanessa Minnilo - "Do you think your America's most beautiful person?"
Girl who'd just been kicked out - "Yes"
Theres so much more but i can't think of it. But the level of there Egos, JEEEZ watch it its hilarious what they put them through and just the unflinching compliments they give themselves. I don't even think it counts as a compliment. AHH. Youtube it or something. Anyways, i'm out PEACE!!


*Procrastination is like Masterbating, it feels good at first but sooner or later you realize your just fucking yourself... Excuse the language.