FuZZ Is Listening To - Chicago - If you leave me now, Talk about taking it back. This song came out in the 70's. Back when probably all of our dads had swingin afros and fast cars. I heard this song on Shaun of the Dead and said to myself.. I GOTTA HAVE IT. Classics are what make us what we are today.. said an ancient philosopher named Phairiz Aronyis....
The other day little Timmy walked over to me and asked me, Dear Uncle Fuzz, the Awesome and Magnificent one.. What is it that makes a man, a man. And i looked dear Timmy in his beigey olive orange eyes, which reminded me of a goat eating an orange, and said.. Google it.
Sadly little Timmy is no longer with us now... yes the unthinkable happened....
It's passed 6PM and his mum wanted him home. He has a curfew.. *wipes a tear*
But his question raised an eyebrow, Rocky styles. And i did Google it, but instead of searching i told Google that im in a vegas mood and that im feeling Lucky.... It took me to youtube and onto a Liza Minelli song called "What makes a man, a man".. And nope i did not learn ANYTHING from that, Or the 2 seconds i saw of it. So im pretty sure the answer i gave to Little Timmy was wrong. So i went on to write a book. Yes the few days i had after little Timmy asked me i was able to write and complete a book....P.S. to me a book is writing a paragraph in Notepad on windows. And i found out what it means to be a super duper man. The manliest of all men even more manly than, the brutes, the arnold shwarzanegge.. i dont want to finish that, isnt it racist?, the Rambo's, the Ron burgundy's, the Hulk Hogan, the Hoff, the Bruce Willis, the Michael Keaton batman before he went gay and had nipples on his suit, the Hugh Jackman Wolverine, in other words the "Supposed" MANLIEST OF ALL MANS.
Yes i found the Epitome of Man, the way every alpha male should be. We should all, as men watch this video and learn from these maestro of Testosterone and the Guru's of Guys.
So to all the so called "Men".. I'm looking at you Brad Pitt, It's time to learn a thing or two about being a man.
Yes, the Bee Gees, Stayin Alive. Think im lying? Then you didn't click play, you tried to cheat didn't you. Play it or else i'll stick a toothpick inside this tissue box next to me, dont push me i'll do it.
Ok so you watched it? Isn't it like the greatest song to strut down the street to, also its a great song i must say, a Classic. Now if you watched the video closely. The big entrance of our Men was incredibly intense. The high, crotch hugging pants. The Jacket's over one shoulder. The t-shirts. But to top it all off, possibly the greatest signs of masculinity. The Grizzly Beards accompanied by the Long "Pantene Pro-V'd" Hair! But to even top it off even more, the cherry on the meat pie. The High Pitched Singing voices of angels. It's like a mixture of Sting and Nick Carter. These guys have made a Announcement. "We are Stayin Alive, Because we have BEARDS!" Especially the guy on the left who's just walking and not really singing. Now to continue, these guys are singing AND Strutting down an abandoned Train Station. You can't get any more cooler than that. You can't get any more Macho than that. And did i mention that he's holding a jacket over one shoulder by his FINGERS! They just proved that this is the ultimate Strut song. After the strut you see them popping out of windows of abandoned buildings. Showing their glossy white teeth, behind the fierce bushes known as facial hair. It's a statement that "Although we're rough on the outside, we're genuine and sexy on the inside". I believe it's lost in translation though, because Beards are sexy either way. The video then ends with them strutting slowly away. Because they know that they've taught us all that they need to. If they were to teach us anymore, we'd implode with over Manliness. A disease which caused the Dinosaurs to go extinct, Yes they went extinct because they were too awesome and macho to exist. Stayin Alive, which is a metaphor for the Spanish Civil War where the Men would go and fight for their families but not with weapons or fists, but show downs of manliness, they would compete in the ManLympics, a test where the man with the roughest beards won, the men with the greatest strut's overcome, the man who ate pies the fastest won, the man who could name the most beautiful women in order of hotness would win and the biggest tournament of them all.... Crying during a romantic movie, Cause everyone knows a real man cries. The ManLympics, a tradition which was continued so man could better himself. So thank you Bee Gees and i hope i can spread your message of "Stayin Alive" to the world... thank you Peepz for listening.
Peace Out, One Love
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